Once I was the Big Cheese and had my finger on the pulse of life
“I am prepared to offer you a contract…” this astounding announcement from the headmistress I would work for, admire, and dearly love was the beginning of my journey as Middle School Dean of Students at Stone Ridge Country Day School of the Sacred Heart. Over thirty years later, I relive this moment and have often used this story as inspiration for my now grown children. “You must believe”, I say, “there will be that manager, supervisor, or headmistress who will take a chance on you.” And when someone takes that chance, be ready.
Ready and eager, similar to our middle school girls at Stone Ridge, I was a sponge. I soaked up the wisdom and knowing ways that surrounded me. We had our very own library in the middle school and lucky me, it was right across from my office. The library was a hub, a visual feast with books beautifully displayed and a librarian whose energy was constant and contagious. My corner office was brightly and proudly decorated in the school’s blues and golds. I welcomed the jolt of color in the early mornings and appreciated its boldness as the darkness descended outside my windows. My workdays were long but rewarding.
Each day there were lessons to learn. Feast days and traditions guided my feet and spirit. The words of St. Madeleine Sophie Barat speaking to me, For the sake of one child, I would have founded the Society. I sought her guidance daily as I was tasked with enforcing the uniform requirements, designed to unite, while allowing room for our young students’ unique natures to peek through. Some eighth graders were determined to wear me down with creative interpretations. In those moments I needed to walk in their shoes, remembering myself in those growing-up years. Our Jeans Days that raised money for carefully chosen charities were a salvation. Each student and faculty member contributing a mere dollar to dress down and wear jeans. Those dollars added up to a strong donation, one that the members of our student government agreed on under my guidance. I was immensely proud of our girls on S.O.M.E. days. Standing for So Others Might Eat, we prepared brown paper lunch bags, one per student, filled with an apple, and various combinations of nuts, dried fruits, and granola bars. These we donated to homeless shelters in Washington D.C. providing a to-go meal for those in need. Some students always had extra supplies ready to help their classmates. We filled every bag.
Filling every bag brings me back to the interview that changed my life. “Which of the Goals and Criteria of Sacred Heart Education is your favorite and why?” This was a defining question from our headmistress. My answer was waiting for me, “Goal 3: A social awareness that impels to action.” I could tell she was pleased with my answer because it was genuine, my response came to me without pause. In her rigorous kindness she would hold me to this moment through my years in her wonderful school. When I did good work, she was proud of me as I in turn, was proud of our students.
Daily I felt my finger on the pulse of life. It was the integrity of Sacred Heart, the Stone Ridge community, and the D.C. area that provided this pulse. And the students themselves who often appeared before me like wild horses needing proper corralling. Soon I would have the pulse of new life within me. As I joyously awaited my first child, I knew the dean of students job would be too much. It was a difficult decision to let go of a job I loved so dearly. I wanted to stay at Stone Ridge and our headmistress believed in me once again and hired me as a full-time teacher of English, Religion, and Lab Staff; Lab Staff being a team of teachers guiding our seventh and eighth graders in group learning. Natural leaders learned to take notes, quiet students learned to speak up. Our Lab Staff designed units of timely topics and personal passions. My passion became a unit called Decades with topics ranging from fashion to politics. Student group presentations were pulsing with the past of unflappable flappers from the Roaring Twenties journeying to the Girls Just Wanna Have Fun looks of Cindi Lauper from the 1980s. My colleagues were the guest speakers for this unit. Many spoke of the the exact moments in their lives when John Kennedy was shot. One of my colleagues was a student at Kent State when the Kent State Massacre occurred. Another colleague described the farmland that was Georgia Avenue in his youth. Our eyes were opened to windows of past lives.
In my very own classroom, I learned the power of mutual respect. Be honest, be kind, and think. These were expectations presented to my students, and what I expected of myself. I asked my students to hold me accountable and they did. I looked forward to teaching each day. The preparations were challenging, but I learned that available moments were little gifts. Stone Ridge was progressive in many ways and as faculty we could sign out new laptops for evenings and weekends. I could bring work home with me and enjoy being with my husband and our new baby boy. I was lucky to have both a family and a job that I loved.
In my journey as an educator I have been blessed with many great teaching jobs, but none have ever matched the community of Stone Ridge. It was a hopeful and exciting time in both my personal and professional life. I grew along with my students. Years later I returned for an impromptu visit with my husband and our four young children. We were warmly received and briefly observed my former colleagues work their magic in their respective classrooms. In the hallway outside my old office, we encountered the wonderful history teacher renowned for his tough tests. The students pleaded fear of his expectations, but dearly loved him and rose to every challenge he presented. “You know”, he said to my children, “your mom used to be The Big Cheese here and we miss her.” His kindness lingers with me still.
